Many of us have a love/hate relationship with texting. It is efficient and let’s face it, no one even listens to voicemails anymore. But these text messages can be over-analyzed, scrutinized, and sarcasm/tone/humor can be so hard to read/deliver.
I have seen too many would-be great relationships not even pass go because of miscommunication and mixed messages. So, in this modern dating environment, I am not only a matchmaker nyc, a millionaire matchmaker, but also a professional dating coach, text interpreter, text content producer, and emoji decoder. Matchmaking services are so important in today’s dating world; texting, dm’ing, whatsapp’ing and digital communications are not going away! We all need to evolve, adapt, and embrace technology in most aspects of our lives and dating isn’t immune to these advances/changes. If you try and pick up the phone to call someone, they will be wondering if you are feeling okay!
Some helpful tips:
- Try and understand the other person’s communication style. If you are dating a doctor or a surgeon, he/she most likely cannot have lengthy text exchanges with you during the day. Do not read into this and assume that he or she is not interested because of the long response time or brevity of the texts.
- Remember, tone is hard to gauge from texts, and a lot of banter or jokes can be taken out of context. It is easy to misinterpret or read into a text and impose your emotion there. Try and take a step back or have an unbiased friend look at the messages. Or better yet, run the text chain by your matchmaker!
Do’s
- Use texts to schedule dates and logistics. Even if you are a prolific, verbose texter, recognize that this is not the case with a lot of people
- Even if responses are brief and not as poetic as yours, this is not a reflection of how they feel. They may not be a good texter, or they are around other people or at work and not in an optimal environment to be cute with you via text.
- Ask yourself what the intention behind this text is so that you do not set yourself up for rejection. Be careful with using the text as an affirmation of how they feel.
- When all else fails and you are confused…just ask via text if you can give him/her a call? Takes the guesswork out of it.
Don’t
- Try and not overanalyze response time and how long it takes someone to respond. They do not need to respond as quickly as you do. And there can be a chance that they didn’t receive your message. It does happen!
- Be careful about jokes and sarcasm—open to misinterpretation
- Do not overshare and bare your soul over text. Save that for in person, phone, zoom.
- Do not assume that you are rejected because you didn’t hear back. Perhaps, your text didn’t elicit a response, or they do not show emotion via this style of communication.
- Try, try try to not read into texts, especially so early in the relationship. Try and not ruminate
I hope you find the above helpful, and please do share your thoughts and feedback with me @brooke@wisematchmaking.com.