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“I Don’t Have Time” – Getting Past Excuses


At Wise Matchmaking, we constantly hear from singles that they do not have time to find love.  Instead of looking at dating as an opportunity to find their soulmate, some people look at it as a chore – like doing laundry or cleaning the bathrooms.  When we hear “I don’t have time to date right now,” we try to shift the focus from spouse-seeking to meeting new people.  We believe that finding love is a unique opportunity to get to know yourself as you get to know someone else.  But too often we hear the same complaint over and over “I don’t have time to meet someone right now.”

Time is a relative concept.  Married or single, childless or with kids, we always feel like we have no time.  When we hear singles say “I don’t have time to date right now,” what they really mean is “I don’t want to devote the time to dating right now because it feels like a lot of work and I haven’t met anyone yet.”

First, we know that dating takes time.  Getting ready, making plans, meeting someone new – it can get exhausting.  But it is also fun.  Dating brings about new experiences and new people.  Even the worst dates produce funny stories to tell your friends.  Generally, the bad feelings arise when people carry bad feelings from prior dates or relationships into a first date, bringing with them a grumpy attitude or a closed-mindedness that sets the entire experience off on the wrong foot.

Instead of viewing dating as a chore, look at it as something you do for yourself – like a trip to the gym or a massage.  Even the busiest people carve out time to take care of themselves – haircut, massage, manicure, SportsCenter – but those same people do not view dating in that category.  But what is more self-indulgent than taking time out of your day to find the love of your life?  Whether you have hours a day or merely a few hours a week to devote to finding love, make time for yourself by making time for dating.