You are sitting at the restaurant. You remember the importance of eye contact. You are on a first date and want to make a strong impression. Suddenly, you cannot help but stare into her blue eyes. They are remarkable. So too is the bright, long red ties the waitstaff are wearing.
Between her blue eyes and these red ties, you find yourself stuck deep in thought. Blue and red. Red and blue. For years, you have avoided political discussions in the workplace. You have hid your views from clients, patients or coworkers. Yet, somewhere between her blue eyes and the long red tie of the waitress reciting the evening specials, how can you avoid discussing this presidential election?
If it were taboo in the past to discuss politics on a first date, what about now? Is there something wrong with you if you have no opinion about Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton? These are polarizing times–the elections of past years were perhaps less about the dramatic and more about where you stood politically. This election, so my clients tell me, is an organic conversation, even on the first date, even as an ice breaker.
So perhaps we should throw old taboos out the window. ‘How ’bout them Yankees’ could easily be replaced with ‘how ’bout this election?’
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: The Elephant in the room…
After their split, the Eagles said they would get together again when Hell Freezes Over. When it froze, they found an easy title for their live album. Guns N’ Roses was pretty much gone. Yesterday, I read about the Not in this Lifetime Tour.
Bands are in precarious relationships. Ego, money, spotlight, fame, outside influences and we are sad to see them split.
People mourned the Beatles and that Zayne guy leaving One Direction….perhaps I should remove Zane from the same sentence as the Beatles. My apologies in advance. I do hope you keep reading.
I have found relationships end for similar reasons. The question I am frequently asked is as follows: “Do I get back together with him?” “Was she really right for me?” “Did we just have to see other people?”
I know of many couples that took longer than just a break, but sometimes years to reconnect, start anew, and connect.
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: The Ex Factor…
I hear from clients and those who date my clients that they desire someone to match their dry witty personality. This is a euphemism for I can dish it out. The dry wit can be construed positively, for sure. The man or woman with the dry wit has unbelievable observational powers. You can sit on a park bench with them, people watch, and they can dissect a passerby with pinpoint accuracy. They narrate the inner monologue of the rollerblader (no judgments), guy carrying the frisbee (again no judgments), and the thirty-three year old wearing his fraternity sweatshirt (now I’m judging a little).
Oh, but then she sets her dry, wit on you. Can you handle it? For some, it’s banter, slight ribbing and they can take it like a sport. For others, it’s downright offensive. It crosses from dry wit to teasing. The late British author Anthony Powell described dry wit as follows: ‘there is no greater sign of innate misery than a love of teasing.’
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: Dry Wit & Sarcasm: Be Careful what you Wish for!
There is no accounting for taste. Bob Dylan is a lyrical poet. Bob Dylan is amplified mumbling. Jackson Pollack mastered the art of creating fractal dimensions on canvas. Jackson Pollack splattered paint and called it art. Snowden is a patriot. Snowden is a traitor. Two different people might look at one person and/or scenario and view them from two totally different perspectives.
In the complex world of dating, inevitably, you will meet someone who may have dated one of your friends. I too often hear clients tell me that my friend used to have a thing with her and he said, “she is awful–not for me.” Of course when pressed, the client will usually tell me he has never met “her” or she “him”. So where does that leave you?
Are you listening to the critics?
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: Your Treasure
The next few days are difficult for people, not exclusively singles. The interfacing with social media is mind numbing. Distressing for some. We all are going to say goodbye to 2015. Many people will look back at this year and tell us, in one form or another, through one web-based platform or another, what they are thankful for as 2016 arrives.
Inevitably, we will hear and likely read from our “friends” (now many of us have thousands of them) as they tell us how grateful they are for the new man/woman in their lives.
It is so easy and comfortable to talk about wanting that same experience for yourself in 2016. I suggest that 2016 be the year of discomfort. Dating is a process. So if your goal last year was to watch the ball drop with someone special, do not fret if it did not happen in 2015. Or fret. But at least allow the melancholy to challenge how you will do things differently in the coming year. How are you going to uncomfortably change your patterns?
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: Let’s Get Uncomfortable in 2016