Wise Matchmaking Blog

Why Ask?

I do not know if people still play Trivial Pursuit because the answer to just about everything trivial or otherwise is an internet search away.  However, one thing cannot be answered and likely should not be asked right away. One faux pas, the spelling of which I just double checked on Google a moment ago giving me reassurances as I write, is that people gravitate towards wanting certainties in newfound relationships.

That is a consistent theme of my conversations with clients and pretty much everyone I come into contact with.  The “what is he or she thinking?” is not restricted to a single gender.  People want to know when they are uncertain where things are in a relationship, even if things are going well.  However, through innuendo or just straight asking, the mood is often destroyed and the new relationship can be damaged.  The person who asks these questions seems to be committing a sin against relationship etiquette.

I do not know why that is but it tends to ruin the mood when one person asks, “where are we going with this?” or “what do you think of this?”

It seems like a fair question.  We ask the internet any number of questions and she feeds us back answers we want to hear, need to hear, and are relieved to hear.

Yet somehow in the beginning phases of relationships, this is not something that can necessarily be asked.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.

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