I have spoken with many couples of late, those married a year and those who are celebrating silver anniversaries. The running theme of these conversations has been, ‘when did you know?’ At what point did you know that you liked this woman? That you were intrigued by this man.
Invariably, we collectively acknowledge that you cannot judge a book by its cover, but you can learn a great deal about the other at a restaurant, over dinner. It might begin with the choice of restaurant. If it’s too trendy or expensive, he might be trying too hard–and if she recommends the place, she might be too expensive.
Then, there are the manners with the wait staff. Is he asking nicely and being polite? Is her ordering suggestive that you will never eat a dog and a beer at a game with her?
Ice breakers. Can she talk about things aside from her work? Is he making eye contact? How smooth is he? Is he so comfortable that you intuitively think that he not only knows this restaurant but it’s his “go to” for every date?
I personally enjoy these insights because the quick drink gives you an out, sometimes needed. However, the restaurant gives you a real sense of humanity. So while it might cost you more time and money in the short term, you might be off the market in the long run.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.