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Brooke’s Latest from the Huffington Post: “The Ex Factor…”
After their split, the Eagles said they would get together again when Hell Freezes Over. When it froze, they found an easy title for their live album. Guns N’ Roses was pretty much gone. Yesterday, I read about the Not in this Lifetime Tour. Bands are in precarious relationships. Ego, money, spotlight, fame, outside influences and we are sad to see them split. People mourned the Beatles and that Zayne guy leaving One Direction….perhaps I should remove Zane from the same sentence as the Beatles. My apologies in advance. I do hope you keep reading. I have found relationships end for similar reasons. The question I am frequently asked is as follows: “Do I get back together with him?” “Was...
Brooke’s Latest from the Huffington Post: “Dry Wit & Sarcasm…Be Careful What you Wish for!”
I hear from clients and those who date my clients that they desire someone to match their dry witty personality. This is a euphemism for I can dish it out. The dry wit can be construed positively, for sure. The man or woman with the dry wit has unbelievable observational powers. You can sit on a park bench with them, people watch, and they can dissect a passerby with pinpoint accuracy. They narrate the inner monologue of the rollerblader (no judgments), guy carrying the frisbee (again no judgments), and the thirty-three year old wearing his fraternity sweatshirt (now I'm judging a little). Oh, but then she sets her dry, wit on you. Can you handle it? For some, it's banter, slight...
Brooke’s Latest from the Huffington Post: “Your Treasure”
There is no accounting for taste. Bob Dylan is a lyrical poet. Bob Dylan is amplified mumbling. Jackson Pollack mastered the art of creating fractal dimensions on canvas. Jackson Pollack splattered paint and called it art. Snowden is a patriot. Snowden is a traitor. Two different people might look at one person and/or scenario and view them from two totally different perspectives. In the complex world of dating, inevitably, you will meet someone who may have dated one of your friends. I too often hear clients tell me that my friend used to have a thing with her and he said, "she is awful--not for me." Of course when pressed, the client will usually tell me he has never met "her"...
Brooke’s Latest from The Huffington Post: “The Value of Valentine’s Day?”
Valentine's Day is met each year with all manner of commentary. Perhaps it's good for the economy. Florists do quite well. Jewelers are busy. Dim lit restaurants with ambiance make out (pardon the pun) like bandits. In past years and past blogs, I have observed that there is no way out of Valentine's Day if you are in a relationship. I have also observed in past musings that the holiday is telling for those who have recently entered into a relationship. This year, my observations are more relationship-centered. For many of my clients in perhaps the strongest relationships, I have observed the following: 'We really have not figured it out yet.' So naturally it would seem somewhat of a contradiction...
Brooke’s Latest from The Huffington Post: “The Big Commit”
Recently, I watched The Big Short, a film that explained the collapse of the Housing Market and the US Economy. The film celebrated those who have conviction. The heroes were the fund managers who broke convention, endured the wrath of colleagues, investors, and pundits alike, and remained steadfast in their belief that indeed the housing market was poised to collapse and the entire economy would go down with it. There is a vast difference between those Wall Street visionaries whose conviction portended a horrible period for this country/world and the conviction discussed in this writing. Dating would seem comparatively unimportant in the face of what happened to our world during and after the financial crisis. Continue reading on the Huffington...
Brooke’s Latest from the Huffington Post: “Let’s Get Uncomfortable in 2016”
The next few days are difficult for people, not exclusively singles. The interfacing with social media is mind numbing. Distressing for some. We all are going to say goodbye to 2015. Many people will look back at this year and tell us, in one form or another, through one web-based platform or another, what they are thankful for as 2016 arrives. Inevitably, we will hear and likely read from our "friends" (now many of us have thousands of them) as they tell us how grateful they are for the new man/woman in their lives. It is so easy and comfortable to talk about wanting that same experience for yourself in 2016. I suggest that 2016 be the year of discomfort. Dating...
Brooke’s Latest from the Huffington Post: “To Have and to Hold?”
Clients often ask when's the right time to begin introducing this woman to my friends and family. My brother is so judgmental. My mother is a tough critic. My sister is a walking embarrassment - - she asks all the questions that I have avoided asking: his desire for marriage, children, career, and why he chose to live in an outer borough. Where am I in this relationship? Conceptually, these questions and insecurities are likely warranted. They are, however, somewhat peripheral to the relationship between the two of you. Perhaps a better barometer is the decision to bring her to a wedding. Sure, you are celebrating another couple, but the two of you are now forced to independently reflect upon...
Brooke’s latest from the Huffington Post: “Exceptional You”
You rose through the ranks of a Fortune 500 Company and now you are at the top of your professional game. You save people's lives through the practice of medicine. Your entrepreneurial spirit has made you wealthier than you could have ever imagined. You are a published author. And so forth. But you are in the same boat as the person who has to make that awkward first date phone call this evening...and your intelligence and life experience should inform your understanding that the first phone call should not be scrutinized, fact checked or otherwise picked apart in ways that have helped your analytical, discerning mind succeed professionally. The phone call has nothing to do with that person's professional success,...
Brooke’s latest from the Huffington Post: “How do you want to be remembered?”
No matter how many dating enthusiasts or experts I approach about this topic, I cannot get a straight answer. How do you break it off? The common answer is not so simplistic. It involves multiple variables, but two stand out. The length of the relationship and the known emotions of the other person are important because you are telling them politely but honestly—“you are not in my future.” In a perfect world, it would end with those simple words. The world's far from perfect. So how important, then, is the delivery… You can take the Jerry Maguire approach, a crowded restaurant so there will not be a scene. You can give the not so subtle clue of ‘we need to...
Brooke’s latest from The Huffington Post: “Why Must Every Day be a Hallmark Holiday?”
My clients want someone to share their moments with. "I was alone on Valentine's day..." "I am not a Mother/Father and I've lost mine, so Mother's/Father's Day is a reliable day of sadness, grief,...." I wonder, however, if some have fallen into the trap of trying to capture and script the moment and, in so doing, the moment has eluded them. When will the day come when we stop ruining the moment because we are too busy trying to capture it? I read a great piece recently about American Pharoah's Triple Crown triumph at Belmont. The author lamented that the Sports Illustrated cover commemorating the moment depicted spectators capturing the horse’s triumph through the lenses in their phones instead of...