You are sitting at the restaurant. You remember the importance of eye contact. You are on a first date and want to make a strong impression. Suddenly, you cannot help but stare into her blue eyes. They are remarkable. So too is the bright, long red ties the waitstaff are wearing.
Between her blue eyes and these red ties, you find yourself stuck deep in thought. Blue and red. Red and blue. For years, you have avoided political discussions in the workplace. You have hid your views from clients, patients or coworkers. Yet, somewhere between her blue eyes and the long red tie of the waitress reciting the evening specials, how can you avoid discussing this presidential election?
If it were taboo in the past to discuss politics on a first date, what about now? Is there something wrong with you if you have no opinion about Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton? These are polarizing times–the elections of past years were perhaps less about the dramatic and more about where you stood politically. This election, so my clients tell me, is an organic conversation, even on the first date, even as an ice breaker.
So perhaps we should throw old taboos out the window. ‘How ’bout them Yankees’ could easily be replaced with ‘how ’bout this election?’
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: The Elephant in the room…
After their split, the Eagles said they would get together again when Hell Freezes Over. When it froze, they found an easy title for their live album. Guns N’ Roses was pretty much gone. Yesterday, I read about the Not in this Lifetime Tour.
Bands are in precarious relationships. Ego, money, spotlight, fame, outside influences and we are sad to see them split.
People mourned the Beatles and that Zayne guy leaving One Direction….perhaps I should remove Zane from the same sentence as the Beatles. My apologies in advance. I do hope you keep reading.
I have found relationships end for similar reasons. The question I am frequently asked is as follows: “Do I get back together with him?” “Was she really right for me?” “Did we just have to see other people?”
I know of many couples that took longer than just a break, but sometimes years to reconnect, start anew, and connect.
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: The Ex Factor…
I hear from clients and those who date my clients that they desire someone to match their dry witty personality. This is a euphemism for I can dish it out. The dry wit can be construed positively, for sure. The man or woman with the dry wit has unbelievable observational powers. You can sit on a park bench with them, people watch, and they can dissect a passerby with pinpoint accuracy. They narrate the inner monologue of the rollerblader (no judgments), guy carrying the frisbee (again no judgments), and the thirty-three year old wearing his fraternity sweatshirt (now I’m judging a little).
Oh, but then she sets her dry, wit on you. Can you handle it? For some, it’s banter, slight ribbing and they can take it like a sport. For others, it’s downright offensive. It crosses from dry wit to teasing. The late British author Anthony Powell described dry wit as follows: ‘there is no greater sign of innate misery than a love of teasing.’
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: Dry Wit & Sarcasm: Be Careful what you Wish for!
There is no accounting for taste. Bob Dylan is a lyrical poet. Bob Dylan is amplified mumbling. Jackson Pollack mastered the art of creating fractal dimensions on canvas. Jackson Pollack splattered paint and called it art. Snowden is a patriot. Snowden is a traitor. Two different people might look at one person and/or scenario and view them from two totally different perspectives.
In the complex world of dating, inevitably, you will meet someone who may have dated one of your friends. I too often hear clients tell me that my friend used to have a thing with her and he said, “she is awful–not for me.” Of course when pressed, the client will usually tell me he has never met “her” or she “him”. So where does that leave you?
Are you listening to the critics?
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: Your Treasure
Valentine’s Day is met each year with all manner of commentary. Perhaps it’s good for the economy. Florists do quite well. Jewelers are busy. Dim lit restaurants with ambiance make out (pardon the pun) like bandits. In past years and past blogs, I have observed that there is no way out of Valentine’s Day if you are in a relationship. I have also observed in past musings that the holiday is telling for those who have recently entered into a relationship. This year, my observations are more relationship-centered.
For many of my clients in perhaps the strongest relationships, I have observed the following: ‘We really have not figured it out yet.’ So naturally it would seem somewhat of a contradiction that the strongest relationships do not have the man with the plan of action. The big night, without a detail missing, right down to the nostalgic restaurant. Why is that?
In so many other thoughts, I have found that the man without the plan is less desirable because it might mean he has other, more important things to be doing. Now, I am staring at the strongest relationships I know and there is no plan, no restaurant, no big gift. ‘We’ll play it by year.’
Continue reading on the Huffington Post: The Value of Valentine’s Day?